Relative Pedophile

impossibly clean
even when wet
impetuous and sloppy
control slamming down at will
brilliant but mystified
impassioned forever for a fraction of a second
and ready
desperately ready
and not ready at all

long ago male was "they"
the surge was older and threatening
now I meet it
now I batter it with abandon
now I know everything and miss the ignorance
now I taste your mother
on your neck

maybe I taste myself
I'm drowning in three feet of water
wishing for the ocean
so clumsy

somebody is using somebody
the two-headed creature says to itself
one of us is an asshole

must be god
what a funny idea
all waving at each other from the wrong place
with our sicknesses intact

I still have the power
to say no
I just lost the desire
everything I desire is inevitable
as long as it's fleeting

Melissa Ray, 1997


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